#30 inspired post

I really want to write this post talking about my inspiration because it means the world to me.

Book keeping is my daily job & it pays my bills, I really like my job and my team is effin great!! Love em so much, makes every day a fun day. But there is another “job” I have - writing on my blog. Althought I shouldn’t call it my job because it’s nothing I “have” to do. Still… in fact I really HAVE to do it, because it’s my way of expression. It’s my way of keeping my balance, it’s my way of showing my inner world. I am not going to lie but neither I am going to put glitter on shit.

My inspiration was on a damn super high in 2013 – breathing in inspiration and breathing out amazing posts – however my inspiration went down under by end of 2013 and throughout 2014 nothing changed. I tried to start all over again but things got so difficult and it literally pissed me off to censor my shit, to give this damn blog a different?! name – holy shit please hit me with a chair the next time - and pretend that the source of this amazing blog came out of my ass nd was entertained by nothing that could compare to real passion. Back then in 2013 when I sat down and started to type, the letters were just flowing magically, sentence after sentence, there it was – big inspired posts from the heart. I loved to reread everyone of them from time to time and I still do now. It was simply my pure self that I laid down in this blog, emotional stripping.

However, I realized something in the past weeks as there was a change in my emotional life – it’s not just that I can feel inspiration running through my veins again, it shocked me even more (in a positive way) what triggers my inspiration!

Yeh of course it’s passion… but passion can be found in other souls… right? Well, guess that doesn’t count for me. 

Beautiful how the same passion from back then which inspired me to write is the same one to inspire me again to start all over again! Isn’t it ironic?

#11 inspired post

pic/quote by dapper_grandiose_fashion (instagram)

we all do mistakes, we all do things that aren't right - things that can hurt people around us, sometimes we know exactly that if they find out, it will hurt them. lies mostly push you away - more and more - from what you try to achieve by lying.

dear men, most of the time a lady knows when you lie to her - she won't say a thing though, hoping you man up and speak the thruth on your own with your brave heart. she will give you some time to redeem your own nasty behavior, worst thing you can do is to spin a larger and larger web of lies. if you keep on lying you don't only disappoint her, you break her heart & trust.

i don't have to love a man as my partner to be deeply hurt and disappointed - even if some ways split, there remains respect and trust into each other - you probably knew each other for many many years or had a long history together as a couple.
realizing that you were trapped into a decision, maybe giving another last chance, by constantly lying and trying to trigger you with more and more lies - that is something i don't have words for. by turning down to give this chance you should come up with your knowledge, teach him a lesson that lies won't ever bring him further than to the next doorbell. 

everytime you lie, the possibility that she already knows the truth is so big, it's terrible hurting that you lie, but that you keep on with that is more hurting. we aren't as stupid as you wish we'd be - but we are so warmhearted to give you chances over chances to speak up with the truth - until we finally close the door because you lost us, our respect and our trust.

look around you, are you happy now? you lost me, again, i hope she is worth it that you even lost that remaining respect i had for you - as a man. she might know about you asking me for another chance - how can you be with a girl who doesn't have any self respect? i have self respect, i am proud of who i am and i won't stick around while being treated so poorly. because i am a lady and i am proud of my decisions.

#3 ladies only - trust equals respect

quote / pic by thecrazytruth.tumblr.com

sometimes our own mind plays little nasty games with us, worst case scenarios creep around and surrender knocks heavily on our door. especially if we expect something nice to happen because someone told us so – it’s so easy in fact to run after it because we doubt that it will happen on its own or because we thought it would come around quicker.

i don’t really like to use the word desperation, no it’s more a sign that you don’t trust if you go running after it. a lack of trust is a lack of respect – if you can’t put trust into the smallest things he tells you then you don’t have any trust in him. respecting him means more than just accepting him as he is, it means that you give him your trust and won’t doubt his ability to stick to his statements or promises.

there are reasons why things don’t happen right away or at a time YOU wish for – but that doesn’t mean that they won’t.

knowing that they will happen is big and powerful because it shows your doubtless trust. people underestimate und underrate it all the time – “i love him but i don’t trust him, so i run after him. otherwise he will forget about me and will move on” wrong, wrong, wrong.

there is no love when there is no trust - there might be feelings but love requires earned and given trust. it’s true even when it sounds a bit weird:

“you may not trust someone you love. but you can always love someone you trust”

i would alter it a bit though because there isn’t any love without trust – simple as that. and trust isn’t given from the start, therefore love doesn’t happen overnight! love takes time as the trust grows you have and trust can only grow when fed right. so by running after him you show that he’s not able to match your expectations in your eyes – because if you’d actually trust him then you’d know that he’ll be there and won’t forget about you. that’s why there is no reason to cause a scene when things don’t happen according to your “timeline”, it would show that you lacked trust while you indeed waited! that’s the big difference between waiting, doubting, fearing, disrespecting & knowing, trusting, respecting!

no obvious evidence that he broke your trust? no fearful desperation needed until it’s proven otherwise! weak love will never build up a loving and stable home.

if you can bring up doubtless and genuine trust – then you carry strong love for him in your heart.

#7 inspired post

quote / pic by dapper_grandiose_fashion (instagram)

 ▪ just like one says "knives, forks, scissors & fire aren't meant for little kids to play with" - a  lady should say "trust, loyalty, faith & emotions aren't meant for little boys to play with". a man isn't much more than a "grown up" boy - so he will play and mess around with the given trust & heart from a lady which are very delicate and easy to break, therefor you shouldn't give those things away easily - he won't respect and appreciate it in a proper way. what sets apart a gentleman from a man is that he indeed knows the value of your given trust & feelings that come along with his emotional interaction with you - he won't crave and run after the attention from other ladies by giving them his more than obvious attention. a gentleman knows that by doing so he risks to lose one of the biggest and most important things that glue the bond he has with his lady - trust, without that everything else will become more and more fragile. it shakes up a lady's self assurance and her view on you - don't be one more reason for her to doubt that true gentlemen still exist. If a man can't stay focussed on one lady at a time - in fact his lady that gave him her heart - then he should give it back and as he isn't a worthy gentleman any longer, he shouldn't dare to accept given trust & feelings as he doesn't handle them with respect. be a gentleman, take responsibility & show her that you are way more worthy than other men who crave for her - she chosed you to be the worthy heart & trust keeper - don't ruin it by pointless flirting & staring, giving away the attention she deserves, no other lady than her. be worth her trust and she'll give you much more in return - unconditional and faithfull love which is paired with admiration & affection only meant for you. ▪ - Sarah Jessica

edit for gentlemen: you shouldn't find yourself in a situation where you have to think twice if your actions are doubtful, especially when it might cause you to think "she won't notice it anyway" or "i'll simply delete it afterwards"- as soon one of these thoughts pop up in your head, that's a damn huge alert signal for you to doubt yourself!!!! because you know that it's not right!

before you interact with others, especially other women, consider at least one of the following thoughts that should run through your mind first - and i mean seriously first(!) everytime:

"if my lady would read/hear my conversation with that other woman on FB/IG/etc...."

• would i still say/write the same things
• would i still be that overly "generous" aka flirty
• would i still suggest to meet up at some time (omfg i cringe while typing that - fuck that shit HELLOO)
• would i still like her half naked pictures on FB or IG (that makes me go big chunky coconuts, seriously i fucking hate that)
• would i still send all those stupid smiley faces
• would i still need to delete my convo after that
• would i still complement her on looking so bangin hot (or whatever crap men write)
• would i still be able to say about myself that i'm a nice guy (no not because your lying to yourself and defending yourself that it's sooooooo super normal to write in that way with other women - no it's not - basta)  
• would i still show my own convo/txt to my lady (yeh that says it all)
• how would my lady feel when she heard/saw it
• would my lady feel disrespected
• would my lady doubt my faithfulness
• would my lady feel jealous about giving away my attention to other women
• would my lady feel sad about my flirty behavior
• would my lady lose trust and faith in me
• would my lady lose her precious point of view on me
• would my lady feel hurt  
• would my lady be able to be happy with me after that
• how would i feel if she did the same things with other men
• how would i feel when she is txting with other men behind my back
• how would i feel when she likes half naked pics of other men
• how would i look at her if she did those things
• would i trust her any longer
• would i respect her any longer

this is so simple in fact - if a big fat ass YES comes to your mind for at least one of those things i listed - then stop doing it!!! i'm not paranoid, of course we interact on a daily basis with our opposite sex - might it be at work or with the cashier, what so ever! that's not the point and we all know damn well what i'm talking about. don't act stupid and fool yourself! 

if you can count yourself a lucky man because you have someone special at your side - then please, do yourself a favor and think twice - 99% of the interaction with random women who don't have anything to do with your worklife/family etc is pointless and just flirty because you need attention and ego boost. as i said, if you can't handle to focus on one lady at a time, then you don't deserve a true lady who would give her all to you. and the bad thing is you know exactly what you can lose - but mostly you think you won't lose it. 

you are wrong.

and there are a lot of disrespectful things that a lady can experience, but she should never experience disrespect from you by actually showing her that you can do better with other women - and yes, that's the hurtful impression you make with your actions. and don't try to defend such cheap behavior with words like "it's just texting or it's just liking her picture, i wouldn't do anything in real life" - this is the real life!!!!!!!!!!! or were you dreaming that you texted her? fuck no - you were doing it, right here right now!!!! man up for your lady or sit back and let her have a real gentleman who appreciates her true value and knows why he's with her and not with one of the others - because she will make him happier than anyone else ever could. so please pay her respect and don't drag her public & personal self assurance down - it will make her look & feel stupid. whenever i see a man who's in a relationship and acts all flirty with other women it just makes me cringe and feel bad for his girlfriend - and THAT is something very important to us ladies, how others see our relationship and therefor "us" as our relationship represents a big part of ourself and yes it makes us feel embarrassed when everyone around us notices what kind of flirty douche bag we have. a lady wants to be proud of her man & her relationship, don't ruin that.     

if we just reflect for a short moment how our partner would feel about it, or much easier - how WE would feel about our partner's behavior - then we all would benefit from less frustration, disappointment & hurt.