#20 ladies only - stupid and stupid match great

ok before i can't stop shaking my head and rolling my damn eyes until they stay that way and i end up looking like a retard - let me quote robyn's lyrics from her song "indestructible"

And I never was smart with love

I let the bad ones in and the good ones go

But I'm gonna love you like I've never been hurt before

I'm gonna love you like I'm indestructible

Your love is ultra magnetic and

it's taking over

This is hardcore

Ooh and I'm gonna love you like

Like I've never been hurt before

ehm no girl, this isn't hardcore this is deep down stupidity which reaches the core of your pussy and unfortunetely not your brain - oh wait sorry, robyn was right. this is ultra hardcore - hardcore stupidity which deserves a hardcore slap in yo vajayjay to wake you up from this pink pony fairytale shit trip you're on.

couldn't resist to use this meme generator muhaha

i know your new crush or your new boyfriend is super exciting and you go nuts whenever you see him, almost throwing your panties after him and praising him like he's a fucking adonis with his magic stick. new person, new love, new chances - i get it - but how come so many women who are new in a relationship let down their boundaries and allow the relationship to fail just because they let themselves get blinded by hormones or their itchy vajayjay? suddenly starting to doubt that he's not all about that good boyfriend-material shit, you thought he was in the beginning. they don't change over night, it's because you let them!

why? because you don't use your gained experiences from the past relationships, because you roll in like a toddler on his trycycle for the first time although you know that when you don't set boundaries and be careful it's doomed to fail, bullshitting yourself that he'll stay this courteous, charming, helping and generous as he is now - just because it's all new, exciting, romantic, cheesy and you are way too busy being in love with him. you experienced hurt from your past relationships for a reason and the reason is def not to experience the same shit again because you make it too damn easy for him to bend your boundaries and put you into a role you aren't comfortable in. men get used to routines pretty fast and as long as you don't change things, it's your own fault. why blame him for bending your boundaries? yeh it's hard and yeh it might come over as unfair but men should be man enough to prove themselves without whining how unfair it is that you don't throw your trust after them. trust is earned - because trust is one of the most valuable things in a relationship, you can't just throw it after him girl. but let me say that i'm very proud of my fellow superwomen who also chose to allow themselves to expect, you are on the right way. eventhough it means you turn down many so called "chances" ppfffff if they were real chances they'd measure up to your requirements. so don't be sad and don't get frustrated - you reached a point many women didn't reach yet. it will get better and it will be worth it, i promise.

you might have been hurt before, you might have been lied to before, you might have been cheated on before - so why the fuck should you love him like you've never been hurt before? oh he's not like that bla bla no he's different bla bla - let him prove! that would be blind, naive and plain stupid. you know i'm all about this cute romantic stuff but at the same time i keep my boundaries and principles. i don't drown my boyfriend with love or trust and whipe his ass all the way up so he feels mothered, because no - i'm not his mother, i'm his girlfriend. he knows exactly what i expect from him because i let him know, he knows that my trust and love is earned and not given freely - that's why he holds up his efforts which are genuine.  if he wasn't in for the homerun he'd be swinging his bat half assed with half assed efforts and i'd be gone in no time.

there is no secret or so - it's simple. don't be afraid to be alone - because if you are then you get desperate, easy to bend, easy to use, easy to replace - and no, you don't want that. learn from mistakes and hold your head up, no need to feel ashamed as long as you are willing to accept them and learn from them. men aren't that bad, who do you want to blame - the sheep for opening the door instead of keeping it closed or the wolf for walking through the open door? keep your memories close at hand because that way you won't make the same mistakes twice.

#18 inspired post

it's kind of coward when we curl up on the couch and drown our thoughts in silence just to not release the next shitstorm, maybe eventhough we didn't have one yet. i think of myself as someone who is able to fake a smile if it's neccessary, to keep up the mood - well that's true, but a fake smile will never reach your eyes, or at least not mine. it has a lot to do with trust actually, trust i have in myself and others. am i confident enough to believe that my "complaints" and wishes are important enough to be outspoken? am i confident enough about how others feel about me, so i don't fear rejection or misunderstanding? 

it has a sidetaste of confidence issues - how come? being popular, admired, wanted is nothing you'll find in my childhood/youth repertoire - if you whine about being an option, please fuck yourself, i wasn't even an option to anyone. i was that quirky weird girl with no style, who didn't have a flatiron and looked like a frikkin lamp with her hair, ugly glasses and all the other unpleasent stuff i got cursed with. i had friends though but talkin about dating etc i was like traffic on a lazy sunday - none existent. i experienced a lot of rejection in my life, not just from strangers but also from people i knew, that's ok though because it made me appreciate the smaller things in life. that was all i had left to focus on, so it's a blessing if you look closer.

the world belongs to the popular, pretty faces and bodies - as ugly as it sounds and i hate to say it, but there's a spark of truth in it. it's often way easier to get what you want from others when you have that little extra. so asking for things, knowing you are not one of the benefited ones, comes way harder comes with a little fear of rejection. as hilarious as it sounds, i have a hard time asking for things that bother me, especially from my boyfriend. i often have the feeling he is above my league, although i shoud have realized by now that my influence on men has dramatically changed since back then when i was 14. i know what i'm able to do if i only wanted to, i could get promoted as switzerlands next super whore if i wanted to. but i refuse because i gained a lot of confidence and on top of that selfworth, both mentally and physically.

#16 ladies only - ps: zip code venus

what is it that reassures you that you know me, that you know every little move, every little respond of my mind? it's meaningless, it's pointless, it's irrational - because you were wrong. i was wrong, we were wrong, they were wrong.

you can bet all u got that after the 60th second it all starts with the first second of the next minute - and I bet in insanity that i didn't want to be in a relationship weeks ago. i was there, talkin loudly to myself, cheeky smile... oh we know that look in our eyes when we release our inner rebel or maybe you know her by the name inner bitch. like a fox, just right before we go and kill that chicken we sit there, with a grin from ear to ear... knowing we are about to do something.

i was so sure that all i wanted was to run free, to run out of breath, out of sanity - just so i can lay on that floor and say "i'm single, i'm free, now fuck off and let me be me" - i was so in mind madness to the point that just a little word, just a little something could cause me to burst out like godzilla - i felt cornered, cornered in a situation i didn't like to be in with this person. but here we go with our lessons learned "unhappy? fine. change it. or shut the fuck up".

oh life, i get you, what a funny motherfucker you are - i was on my own free run, living that "i do whatever i want to nd there's nothing u can say or do about it" and to all of you lusty suckers, no, it's not about hooking up - it's just about leaving home, going out, getting lost, freaking out and going home whenever i wanted to, without obeying my inner mum teresa to text some people i actually didn't wan to txt. mean bitch huh? i wasn't interested in men at all.

as you can see - it applies to both men and women in almost the same way - if we don't want a relationship then it's because we don't want to be in a relationship with you. think about it the next time when you hear a guy say "i'm not ready for a relationship bla bla i need time bla bla" aaaaah shoot yourself please, move on girl, it's a waste of time if you wait and wait and wait for someone who doesn't want you! they might take you as appetizer, until the main course gets served and you my dear aren't the main course.

we definitely live in another city, with another zip code - zip code venus - but we are from the same planet. but whatever we do, we do it with honesty. if you hurt, then hurt with honesty and not with lies. if you leave, leave in one motion and not halfassed. all or nothing. black or white. that's what sets us apart from fucked up douchebags.

#2 ladies only - back off and let him be a man

edit 04/12/2013: yeh my mother teresa complex got me all fooled up. there is just a simple simple simple and undeniable reason why men don't txt - because they lack interest in you. punkt. move on because he didn't care enough about you and that you are waiting on a response - even if it's important to you - that shows enough about his serious interest in you. you are a back up plan he can pull back when he feels like, not when YOU feel like. let him be happy because he is probably a nice guy... just not very nice with you. keep nice moments you both had in mind and move on.

Our gender is usually more into communication - nothing new huh? How often do i hear this common complaint "he doesn't text back that much" or "why does it take hours for him to answer or even days" yada yada yada - yeh and i can count myself for gettin headaches from overthinking this annoying male behavior - trying to figure out why.

And no, this post is not about setting up some stupid, overrated "chasing game" plan - i honestly think it's stupid and somehow pathetic - i know there are some super popular "dating advice" books out there, telling women how to play the game etc and they might help, i don't know because i don't read those - heard a lot but i never bought one of these. i don't say that you shouldn't stick to (hm trying to find the right word) "rules" of proper courting, but don't get lost in those weird "don't reply for 3 days" or "if he calls, don't asnwer the phone" shit. of course everybody is more or less busy, i understand, but don't use these weird rules on purpose. i honestly don't know if men make use of these equally as women do, but however i think that sucks.

today we use a ton of different ways of communication - mostly via sms or text apps like "whatsapp" which indeed has a big downside - we get transparent for everyone else. yeh don't act like you don't know what i'm talking about, we've all been there - checking our crush's last online activity in whatsapp or whatever media you use. it can be amusing to some point but it can also drive you nuts when you see that he's been online at least 10-15 times a day without answering one of your god damn texts.

however i have to admit that women in general and i'm also one of those, text a lot.. like a lot!!! we unintentionally spam our desired man with too much of daily, emotional or whatever ish - of course with the expectation for them to write back. it can make us look needy, desperate or whatever. for me, when i text a lot then i care a lot - a text can fulfill many purposes, setting up dates, chatting about daily stuff etc - for me it's kind of a way to let somebody know that i have him on my mind. and although i am a little hypercommunicative, i learned to back off - to stop initiating contact every god damn day.

why? because i clearly stated my interest a thousand times by contacting first via text or call after a few days of silence. it's true i might be over the top with communication, that's just how i am and how i show some kind of affection but by doing so i take away a man's primary courting instinct: curiosity.
it's like serving him a meal he didn't ask for, can be nice but it can be hella annoying or boring the shit out of him. there's no need to miss or be curious about something when it gets served every day - nor is there a need to put in effort when you get it for free everytime. worst of all he might start to take you & your effort for granted - therefor no need for him to change his behavior.

keep in mind, they are not our boyfriends - so why do we always expect so much from them that goes beyond the "dating zone"? whatever the answer might be - we should stop. maybe he's too busy (ok no one is too busy to not text back within 2 days) or he simply texts other girls (he's free to do so when he's single, although i like to focus on one person at a time - so therefor it would hurt me) or he simply doesn't feel like texting you - whatever it is there's nothing for us to change that.

to be honest it makes me feel bad, it upsets me somehow and most of all it makes me feel unappreciated and disrespected. but on the other hand i try to let go, be patient, understanding and don't interpret too much - so backing off for a few days is my way of showing respect for his private life and need for space. not knowing if he actually acknowledges this as paying respect to him.

however, i try to bring this whole thing to a point

• stop texting too much
• don't write "essays" - that will kill his interest and he lacks time nd interest to read all of it anyway
• if he doesn't reply within hours or even days - back off
• if you called him and he didn't call back - back off
• if he replys then write back, without using stupid "double of his time" rules - but keep it simple
• learn to use texting as a media to set up dates, quick and simple
• learn to let go of the idea to show affection via text - safe that up for "real" time together
• let the effort be equally on both sides
• texting shouldn't be your main communication - calls/meetings are way better!
• let him pursue you, let him miss you
• jesus stop liking every god damn picture on his IG or FB

I think there is a simple thing to say about all the texting ish - let it be equal! If he texts you a lot then you should text back with the same effort, when he calls you make the same effort and call him first the next time, if he doesn't give a shit to write you then you should do the same, if he never picked up a call or called back then just simply don't give a fuck and let him be, if he asked you out for dinner/movies etc then ask him out another time. women need to learn to stop showing too much effort via txting without recieving anything equal back and at the same time to put down wrong expectations like "a man needs to make the first move with everything". 

today's world is superficial enough - go back to basics, text/call to set up a date, put down texting as your main communication and focus on quality time together, wether it be just hanging out a little or go out for a walk by a lake - just put your damn phone aside and live life where it takes place, and that's not in your phone! so as we realize this for ourself, we have the ability to safe up our effort for more meaningful things - showing affection and thoughtfulness in a different way - when we actually meet the people we like.

allow him to fulfill his natural male role of being the pursuer - let him take the lead and when he does then go with it and appreciate his effort. stop chasing it - instead be patient while going after other things in life. you will sense out if the wait will be worth it or not, but overthinking is a waste of your precious mind capacity.

a man who wants you will get back to you - just like the saying "let it go and if it returns, it's yours"
although i love to recieve texts and although i'm very impatient - i learned to adapt. good for me i guess...