#20 ladies only - stupid and stupid match great

ok before i can't stop shaking my head and rolling my damn eyes until they stay that way and i end up looking like a retard - let me quote robyn's lyrics from her song "indestructible"

And I never was smart with love

I let the bad ones in and the good ones go

But I'm gonna love you like I've never been hurt before

I'm gonna love you like I'm indestructible

Your love is ultra magnetic and

it's taking over

This is hardcore

Ooh and I'm gonna love you like

Like I've never been hurt before

ehm no girl, this isn't hardcore this is deep down stupidity which reaches the core of your pussy and unfortunetely not your brain - oh wait sorry, robyn was right. this is ultra hardcore - hardcore stupidity which deserves a hardcore slap in yo vajayjay to wake you up from this pink pony fairytale shit trip you're on.

couldn't resist to use this meme generator muhaha

i know your new crush or your new boyfriend is super exciting and you go nuts whenever you see him, almost throwing your panties after him and praising him like he's a fucking adonis with his magic stick. new person, new love, new chances - i get it - but how come so many women who are new in a relationship let down their boundaries and allow the relationship to fail just because they let themselves get blinded by hormones or their itchy vajayjay? suddenly starting to doubt that he's not all about that good boyfriend-material shit, you thought he was in the beginning. they don't change over night, it's because you let them!

why? because you don't use your gained experiences from the past relationships, because you roll in like a toddler on his trycycle for the first time although you know that when you don't set boundaries and be careful it's doomed to fail, bullshitting yourself that he'll stay this courteous, charming, helping and generous as he is now - just because it's all new, exciting, romantic, cheesy and you are way too busy being in love with him. you experienced hurt from your past relationships for a reason and the reason is def not to experience the same shit again because you make it too damn easy for him to bend your boundaries and put you into a role you aren't comfortable in. men get used to routines pretty fast and as long as you don't change things, it's your own fault. why blame him for bending your boundaries? yeh it's hard and yeh it might come over as unfair but men should be man enough to prove themselves without whining how unfair it is that you don't throw your trust after them. trust is earned - because trust is one of the most valuable things in a relationship, you can't just throw it after him girl. but let me say that i'm very proud of my fellow superwomen who also chose to allow themselves to expect, you are on the right way. eventhough it means you turn down many so called "chances" ppfffff if they were real chances they'd measure up to your requirements. so don't be sad and don't get frustrated - you reached a point many women didn't reach yet. it will get better and it will be worth it, i promise.

you might have been hurt before, you might have been lied to before, you might have been cheated on before - so why the fuck should you love him like you've never been hurt before? oh he's not like that bla bla no he's different bla bla - let him prove! that would be blind, naive and plain stupid. you know i'm all about this cute romantic stuff but at the same time i keep my boundaries and principles. i don't drown my boyfriend with love or trust and whipe his ass all the way up so he feels mothered, because no - i'm not his mother, i'm his girlfriend. he knows exactly what i expect from him because i let him know, he knows that my trust and love is earned and not given freely - that's why he holds up his efforts which are genuine.  if he wasn't in for the homerun he'd be swinging his bat half assed with half assed efforts and i'd be gone in no time.

there is no secret or so - it's simple. don't be afraid to be alone - because if you are then you get desperate, easy to bend, easy to use, easy to replace - and no, you don't want that. learn from mistakes and hold your head up, no need to feel ashamed as long as you are willing to accept them and learn from them. men aren't that bad, who do you want to blame - the sheep for opening the door instead of keeping it closed or the wolf for walking through the open door? keep your memories close at hand because that way you won't make the same mistakes twice.

#18 inspired post

it's kind of coward when we curl up on the couch and drown our thoughts in silence just to not release the next shitstorm, maybe eventhough we didn't have one yet. i think of myself as someone who is able to fake a smile if it's neccessary, to keep up the mood - well that's true, but a fake smile will never reach your eyes, or at least not mine. it has a lot to do with trust actually, trust i have in myself and others. am i confident enough to believe that my "complaints" and wishes are important enough to be outspoken? am i confident enough about how others feel about me, so i don't fear rejection or misunderstanding? 

it has a sidetaste of confidence issues - how come? being popular, admired, wanted is nothing you'll find in my childhood/youth repertoire - if you whine about being an option, please fuck yourself, i wasn't even an option to anyone. i was that quirky weird girl with no style, who didn't have a flatiron and looked like a frikkin lamp with her hair, ugly glasses and all the other unpleasent stuff i got cursed with. i had friends though but talkin about dating etc i was like traffic on a lazy sunday - none existent. i experienced a lot of rejection in my life, not just from strangers but also from people i knew, that's ok though because it made me appreciate the smaller things in life. that was all i had left to focus on, so it's a blessing if you look closer.

the world belongs to the popular, pretty faces and bodies - as ugly as it sounds and i hate to say it, but there's a spark of truth in it. it's often way easier to get what you want from others when you have that little extra. so asking for things, knowing you are not one of the benefited ones, comes way harder comes with a little fear of rejection. as hilarious as it sounds, i have a hard time asking for things that bother me, especially from my boyfriend. i often have the feeling he is above my league, although i shoud have realized by now that my influence on men has dramatically changed since back then when i was 14. i know what i'm able to do if i only wanted to, i could get promoted as switzerlands next super whore if i wanted to. but i refuse because i gained a lot of confidence and on top of that selfworth, both mentally and physically.