#24 ladies only - men aren't thaaat bad

it's true, you got hurt - i got hurt - we built up walls but do we really blame it on men? yes we do mostly, and no it's not correct nor is it in any way right. it's not only about what we receive or are willing to receive - it's more about what we are willing to receive. and that's too much most of the time cuz it's so easy to blame, right? but what if we just take a closer look at ourselves? what if we realize it's also up to us to shut doors and abondon heartbreakers?

just think about door-to-door seller, they try to sell you their goods the best way they can because they want your money. but it's you who decides what to buy and what not. ok i was lame at that cuz i used to buy every shit - literally - i bought a key tag for 80 chf just because i couldn't say no. hilarious right? buying a 80 chf key tag you really don't need? but i did and so did you - you didn't buy the key tag but you bought all these lies, hurt and resentment. not because you are stupid - ok some of you are - but you bought it in first place cuz you just couldn't say no. and that's ok cuz nobody's born perfect, right?! nobody's born with the attitude and experience of an alpha wolf female, so it's natural that we all go through try & fail situations in our lives. 

stupid are only the ones who go through fail after fail and still buy that crappy unnecessary key tag for 80 chf - stupidity won't last forever though but hey come one, you got better things to do with your life than continuing buying that crap. so what can you do to stop doing so? simply learn to say no. i know it's hard to say no cuz you fear to maybe overreact or blow a "chance" - but infact it's a win win situation - first of all it improves your confidence because that way you show gut and stand your ground - hey it really feels good!! trust me you'll feel so strong and more confident - second it safes you a lot of time. i see women from 20 - 30 in their most blooming years (biologically) so why waste that precious years on someone who isn't worth it? it's your own fault if you let the same guys run over you again and again cuz you hope the new guy won't be as disappointing as the others.

it always takes a good mixture of confidence, sanity, and understanding to say no - there's a difference between setting boundaries and simply releasing your inner "bitch-kraken" - just saying no to everything that doesn't match your expectation and cutting off guys isn't what makes you a happier girl. love requires compromising and compromising requires maturity, maturity to seperate "that's just what i want right now and i don't give a fuck if you understand it or not" and "hey let's talk about it, it makes me unhappy for so and so reasons, how do you see it. it makes me feel so and so, are you aware of that? if yes, are you able to compromise for me/for us? if not it makes it hard for me to get along with you and we need a common ground"

common ground is the key word - everyone has different ways to see things - that's good and necessary - but there needs to be common ground to start off together. if you and your boyfriend don't have common understanding and furthermore respect for eachother about how you interact with eachother, how you interact with other girls/guys outside your relationship, how you trust eachother and where you both want to stand in 5 or 10 years - then there's no future path for you both to walk on. see? that's why you need to learn to say no -> learn to speak up about what you are all about.

#17 inspired post - demanding is key

quote by kingkravate (twitter)

there are different reasons why a lot of us women never experienced an orgasm - i'm not talking about clitoral orgasms, those can be attained within 3 minutes whenever we do ourselves - longer if our partner tries. 

key word - tries

why? no matter how good he thinks he is, every woman has different needs and her body responds differently. a lot of men forget about one thing: mental and emotional stimulation, without them i guess it will be really hard to make her experience a vaginal orgasm. chances to do so are much higher when she feels emotionally attached to you, based on what you have as a foundation and how much you stimulate her mind in general and during sex. but i think the main reason why a lot of women never experienced a vaginal orgasm is because they don't speak up about their needs - they don't dare to demand sexual satisfaction like men do - ok you can moan more or less when he pushes the right buttons but still, why not say what gets you roaring like a lamborghini murciélago v12 engine? why not use this as your own advantage to heat up his desire for you even more?

experiencing an orgasm and chivalry aren't that much different from another! you can wait and expect a lot of a man, but in the end he'll do you way better when you actually speak up about your needs and wishes! you can wait for him to do the first step or wait for him to take you out on a real date, not those half ass suggestions like "what you wanna do" - "hm dunno, you decide it's whatever you want to do" that might sound nice and you think he's just polite, in reality he's just damn lazy.  so instead of waiting around i advise you to read my other post about standing up for yourself - #11 inspired post - those half ass suggestions and half ass efforts we get on a daily basis aren't enough. you have to decide that for yourself, that you won't be satisfied with 50% - 60% or 70% effort - no.

i decided for myself that i deserve an honest, caring and ambitious man - who plans his life with me, around me, together with me.and that's exactly what i demand and i declared my need for that kind of secureness - realize, demand and make progress.

making our needs nd wishes known to a man is directly connected to our fear of rejection - that's why many don't do it. but just think about it, you really want to be with someone who can't handle your needs, who gets scared off, who runs away or corners up like a little pussy? see it as a natural process of filtering - i wrote about the importance of filtering before - in order to sort out time wasters so you are available for the right one. how bad would it be to realize that you missed out the right one because your delusional ass was busy with a lazy time waster who mindfucked your heart? so if you confront a man with your needs, and he runs away - wave after him and shout "thank you" because that way you saved your precious time in the very beginning. now that i learned from it, i don't have any problems dumping the wrong ones within seconds and most important: without regret. how many times did i get weak in the past, how many times was i scared to demand something, how many times did i look past stupid behavior just because i was scared to lose something - nah nah nah lose what? a stupid lazy fucktard who doesn't give a fuck about you?  i ran after a damn time waster for too long - but i guess my stupid ass was lucky because mr right was still there - just like he was before...

try it out and you'll see how things work out better - for both your mental/emotional and sexual needs - don't sugarcoat it, just be straight forward. oh.... i promise you, he'll love to hear about your dirty fantasies - uncensored -  he'll do his best to satisfy you the next time, just how you demand it. same applies for him being a gentleman around you, tell him what you demand and let him fulfill his male role of the provider - providing security, love and pleasure to the lady he loves.

#10 ladies only - dump his ass

▪ in my eyes the dating world is fucked up - thanks to both men and women who act fucked up coward. girls cry nd wait around for prince charming to get his lazy ass out of the tree - why? because we all had those moments when we tried to pursue, tried to push it to the next level - beside that this is so wrong, whiping off his lazy ass and adapt the male courting role - and we got pushed away. so we got all scared and decided to wait and wait, oh yes, and wait. we take lots of his shitty hot nd cold behavior, disappearing acts, no calls, no txts etc - instead of getting pissed nd dump his ass we make up with silly excuses "he's busy", "workaholic", "he needs time", "he's shy". 

ok now all together: B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T! 

it's significant how a guy's behavior can change after sex and so does our behavior change, like walkin on eggshells. if u reach the 2nd base with a guy - and in my opinion this means sex - then its like signing an unspoken contract. (not talkin about one night stands) if he gets the honor to earn your trust and gets intimate with you then his morals and respect should be so high that he knows how to act after sex. there are two simple options: 

1. put as much effort into getting to know u as he did before if he is interested 

OR 2. tell u within a few days that he's not that into you. 

no, us ladies don't get your coward "get the hint" behavior - stop stringing us along! man up, if you are man enough to put it in then be man enough to quit it soon enough. I made up my mind and that's where my power is: I have nothing to lose. so no, I won't chase you, I won't buy your cheap excuses, I won't let myself be stringed along, I won't let u disappear and get back like nothing happend. I'm open, I'm blunt and I know my worth - after a couple of days I'll confront a man's lazy ass and if he doesn't step up then I wave my sign - BYE BYE! cuz I'm not scared at all to "lose" something I never really had in the first place. think about it - the right guy will keep up his effort and interest over moooonths without lacking. 

so what did ur prince charming do?! few txts per week?! few times he actually cared enough to ask in detail how u doin, how ur day was, how YOU FEEL?! nah??? dump his ass, he has other options nd you are not important enough for him to focus on you. why should he be ur #1?!?!?! u r probably not even his #2,#3 or #4!!!! know ur worth and the right man will notice that. ▪ - Sarah Jessica