it's true, you got hurt - i got hurt - we built up walls but do we really blame it on men? yes we do mostly, and no it's not correct nor is it in any way right. it's not only about what we receive or are willing to receive - it's more about what we are willing to receive. and that's too much most of the time cuz it's so easy to blame, right? but what if we just take a closer look at ourselves? what if we realize it's also up to us to shut doors and abondon heartbreakers?
just think about door-to-door seller, they try to sell you their goods the best way they can because they want your money. but it's you who decides what to buy and what not. ok i was lame at that cuz i used to buy every shit - literally - i bought a key tag for 80 chf just because i couldn't say no. hilarious right? buying a 80 chf key tag you really don't need? but i did and so did you - you didn't buy the key tag but you bought all these lies, hurt and resentment. not because you are stupid - ok some of you are - but you bought it in first place cuz you just couldn't say no. and that's ok cuz nobody's born perfect, right?! nobody's born with the attitude and experience of an alpha wolf female, so it's natural that we all go through try & fail situations in our lives.
stupid are only the ones who go through fail after fail and still buy that crappy unnecessary key tag for 80 chf - stupidity won't last forever though but hey come one, you got better things to do with your life than continuing buying that crap. so what can you do to stop doing so? simply learn to say no. i know it's hard to say no cuz you fear to maybe overreact or blow a "chance" - but infact it's a win win situation - first of all it improves your confidence because that way you show gut and stand your ground - hey it really feels good!! trust me you'll feel so strong and more confident - second it safes you a lot of time. i see women from 20 - 30 in their most blooming years (biologically) so why waste that precious years on someone who isn't worth it? it's your own fault if you let the same guys run over you again and again cuz you hope the new guy won't be as disappointing as the others.
it always takes a good mixture of confidence, sanity, and understanding to say no - there's a difference between setting boundaries and simply releasing your inner "bitch-kraken" - just saying no to everything that doesn't match your expectation and cutting off guys isn't what makes you a happier girl. love requires compromising and compromising requires maturity, maturity to seperate "that's just what i want right now and i don't give a fuck if you understand it or not" and "hey let's talk about it, it makes me unhappy for so and so reasons, how do you see it. it makes me feel so and so, are you aware of that? if yes, are you able to compromise for me/for us? if not it makes it hard for me to get along with you and we need a common ground"
common ground is the key word - everyone has different ways to see things - that's good and necessary - but there needs to be common ground to start off together. if you and your boyfriend don't have common understanding and furthermore respect for eachother about how you interact with eachother, how you interact with other girls/guys outside your relationship, how you trust eachother and where you both want to stand in 5 or 10 years - then there's no future path for you both to walk on. see? that's why you need to learn to say no -> learn to speak up about what you are all about.
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