#30 inspired post

I really want to write this post talking about my inspiration because it means the world to me.

Book keeping is my daily job & it pays my bills, I really like my job and my team is effin great!! Love em so much, makes every day a fun day. But there is another “job” I have - writing on my blog. Althought I shouldn’t call it my job because it’s nothing I “have” to do. Still… in fact I really HAVE to do it, because it’s my way of expression. It’s my way of keeping my balance, it’s my way of showing my inner world. I am not going to lie but neither I am going to put glitter on shit.

My inspiration was on a damn super high in 2013 – breathing in inspiration and breathing out amazing posts – however my inspiration went down under by end of 2013 and throughout 2014 nothing changed. I tried to start all over again but things got so difficult and it literally pissed me off to censor my shit, to give this damn blog a different?! name – holy shit please hit me with a chair the next time - and pretend that the source of this amazing blog came out of my ass nd was entertained by nothing that could compare to real passion. Back then in 2013 when I sat down and started to type, the letters were just flowing magically, sentence after sentence, there it was – big inspired posts from the heart. I loved to reread everyone of them from time to time and I still do now. It was simply my pure self that I laid down in this blog, emotional stripping.

However, I realized something in the past weeks as there was a change in my emotional life – it’s not just that I can feel inspiration running through my veins again, it shocked me even more (in a positive way) what triggers my inspiration!

Yeh of course it’s passion… but passion can be found in other souls… right? Well, guess that doesn’t count for me. 

Beautiful how the same passion from back then which inspired me to write is the same one to inspire me again to start all over again! Isn’t it ironic?

#29 inspired post

someone called me robogirl - and it was true. 

It was true because I didn't let my soul fully guide me, I always kept it in check with my huge overworking mind. Why? Well I found two things today. two things were given me today - the first thing was understanding. Understanding myself, why certain patterns in my head ruled over my heart. The second thing was freedom of my heart. Freedom I gave my heart & soul after understanding myself. The first thing was a gift I received. The second thing was a gift I made myself. Finally I feel in balance with everything that makes me the woman I truly am. It was a long journey but in the end it was worth every obstacle that crossed my path. The person which faces you with geniune understanding and a look right through you into the deepest part of you, is the one who captivates and frees your soul. 

#28 inspired post

If you listen... just listen in sweet silence.. then after time silence will reveal the loudest sounds. The heart speaks in a foreign language, it screams at times it whispers at times but its never silent. The mind roars with pride, the mind yells in fear, the mind stutters in insecurity. 

Learning a foreign language will be impossible if you refuse to listen carefully as you begin to understand word by word. Breathing in every sentence as your language caresses my skin, as your grammar kisses my lips, as each pronouncing enters me deeply. Hush sweet foolish mind, let it be.... hush proud mind, let yourself get devoured... hush fearful mind, obey now. Obey to the loudest and dominating presence in this moment as the foreign language becomes native inside you, while it spreads it's meaning inside you like a running river until it drips out drop by drop. Sweet lingering wishes run over the lips as two longing waves meet. Reveal all of your hidden speaking skills, let each articulation run down my skin in shivers, let each letter push me to an explosion of sentences until I forget how to speak with my lips... until I speak nothing else than pure emotions with each heartbeat. 

Intimidate my mind

intimidate my over processed mind... 

I obey to the foreign language that becomes native to me. 

In total silence