didn't check the hits for a few days and baaaaaam - over 10'000 hits. it's not a biggie but thinking about it makes me happy and yes, a bit proud cuz when i first started off with my blog i never thought so many people would read my shit.
from the first post till now an evolution took place - jess 1.0 was a sweet, innocent, naive girl who lost herself in neverending romantic thoughts - jess 1.0 was drunk on her emotional whore trip. by writing post after post she learned, assessed and faced life's ugly truth - pain, disappointment and anger can open one's eyes if they are willing to stop running after the white rabbit that leads to an unreal place and keeps you stuck until you get devoured and spit out. jess 2.0 was born and she wasn't the same as before, she was more confident although things didn't go as she wished for, she was happier than before because she empowered herself by writing uncensored, knowing she could write about anything she wanted to and wether others hated or loved it, she wouldn't stop cuz it just started. jess 3.0 came to surface, appearing tougher, more outspoken, and def facing reality - writing about things others not dare to talk about in public cuz they fear the reaction of their friends or other people. i don't because that's what makes my blog so authentic - a fearless speaker is an honest speaker - it seems to be more aggressive and people misinterpret me as some ghetto chick, interesting aspect - men see me as ghetto like - that's a perfect example for the double standard. however, it's not about dissing - the way i write is the way i talk to my bff or other close people - i feel comfy talking that way cuz that's me, it's not enough to talk about things i need to add my sense of drama and wit because i like to make people laugh. topics and problems are hard enough to handle, why not combine it with a dry sense of humor?
fact is, i'm still somehow the same girl at heart, romantic, cheesy, i tend to blush, i giggle weird, i curl up like a kitty cat, always hoping that things turn out good, happy ever after stories - but i'm more cautious cuz i learned from past mistakes. jess 3.0 is an alpha wolf lady and no one will fuck her over again. she is aware of her past and she is able to make the best out of her future and damn she won't fuss around with those stupid nonsense problems "why doesn't he call" yada yada yada - thank god, thank you irony, thank you insanity, thank you genius, thank you fucktards, thank you inspiration - thanks to my readers and most of all thanks to that guy who cursed my pussy. no need to censor, no need to hide, no need to turn angry again. it's not about the reason why i started my blog, it's about the reason why i keep writing.
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