#18 ladies only - forge the steal as long as it's hot

so you are new in this relationship - we have two individuals who are more or less alike - us women tend to walk on eggshells when handling our boyfriend in the beginning. why do we do this? are we afraid he might turn around and run away as soon as we "pressure" him in any way? do we shut up & "ignore" behavior on purpose so we can keep up the "honeymoon phase"? yeh you do, we all did this at some time.

i honestly don't think this is going to work because my mum once told me to forge the steal while it's hot - means as long as it's fresh/new/unknown you still have bigger chances to "form" your relationship according to both of your needs. but how should you do it? every man has his habits, wether it's gaming, being lazy, being messy or whatever - that's not the point - if you shut up nd act like it doesn't bother you that his bed room is a mess, his car is a dump or he's busy playing fifa 14 the whole time then it's your own fault. why sit there, fake a smile and wait for him to read your mind?

same goes with your interactions with others, i admit i'm a very territorial woman - so what? i'm confident enough to not actually worry but that doesn't mean that i'll ignore stuff that bothers me - especially here applies our new rule: forge that shit before it gets cold nd someone else forges it. it all depends on how you say it, you don't want to sound insecure and pathetic, i understand but not having the gut to speak up is just as insecure and pathetic. i told my bf straight from the beginning that whatever he does, he should second guess himself if he would still do the same if i would be standing next to him. so if the answer is no, then just don't do it. he told me in the same way what he expects from me as his girlfriend. that's legit, that's fair, that's how it should be. i like him being territorial himself - mmmhhhh ladies love to feel protected and valued.

don't act insecure
instead of: "am i the only one in your eyes? would you ever cheat on me? do you think she's prettier than me" (omg it makes me shrug to even think about speaking out those words lol)
you better say: "babe i just want you to know that i'm not into this sharing is caring stuff, ok? i'm not a woman to share her man. you wouldn't want to share me either. so if you want me to be your girl, i'll be the only one"

don't act like a psycho
instead of: "imma bust yo windows out ya car man if i ever catch you cheating on me and i'll beat up that other bitch, don't you ever fuck with me, i'm serious"
you better say: "i'll never cause you a scene, because you know what the best punishment for a man is who cheats? i'll simply walk out of your life and that's it, we are done and no i'm not in mum teresa mood, so no 2nd chances"

don't act like you are his mum
instead of: "your room is a mess, when u going to tidy up?! man when was the last time you did laundry?" or even worse "i'm so sick of your mess, i'm going to clean it now on my own"
you better say: "honey look, i folded some of your laundry and placed it next to your bed, could you please collect your laundry when you change - what about doing laundry once a week?" or "babe could you please take out the trash and don't forget the bottles in your room. could you please do that too?"



well, the trick is simple: don't be a mess yourself - why should he do it any better if you can't manage to be tidy and all that yourself? your kitchen is a mess, you have 1000kg laundry, you don't clean that much - it's not fair nor is it in any way legit to ask for things when you can't do it on your own. a confident woman is a woman with boundaries, boundaries she sets for herself and others who are in her life. a confident woman won't have as much problems with her man as an insecure woman.