#13 ladies only - beware of dick confidence

pic by comicbookbrain.com / txt by IVLG

a man with a bag full of money will gamble way harder than a guy who's almost broke - why should he carefully rethink every step he makes, if he loses he'll have enough $ to buy in the next round and so on until he's broke. the guy with less money won't risk much, he has too much to lose, maybe he's an adrinaline freak and will gamble even harder - hm....naaaah he'll play on the safe side.

guy with dick confidence:

he has stunning charisma, his grin is pasted into his handsome face with this attentive and challenging look in his eyes... they will remind you of a little boy who's shy but curious, nervous at times... a man whose eyes  can't look any softer and whose eyes which can't look any lustier at times, his facial expressions are always on point, magically matching his words and his smile, even in dim light you'll recognize his face out of 1000 others, the way his lips form while he talks, hypnotizing you with every word, his kisses always taste the same getting you hooked on those damn menthol candies he buys, he dresses in a different way, he smells to die for... no 0815 perfume, a rare significant one.. he choses a scent which fits him head to toe like it was made for him - everything about him is unique like you rarely have seen it before, his selfexpression is all over his body - he talks the talk, his words never match up to clichees - no he's smarter than that - he lures you in on a mental level, rapes your mind  and as soon as he's inside you, you experience a "stockholm syndrome" you fall in love with your kidnapper. whenever you enter a room where he is, no matter how crowded you'll ironically find the way to eachother everytime, as soon as your eyes meet the room will be on fire burning everything around you down when you stand in front of eachother - one look, one slight smile and you have his meth halfway in your veins - no turning back, no escaping from his lusty claws with his fangs deep in your jugular vein. he'll make you believe he invented kissing & sex, yeh holla at trey - best fit on your lips making you think they were made for eachother, no ordinary shit here, the sicker the better, he makes you his sex kitten.. making you purrrrr when he just looks at you, making you wear your lingerie hours after sex so you have his smell on you, he gets your mind pregnant - full of himself and millions of memories which flash right infront of your eyes whenever smething reminds you of him - smells, touches, kisses, eye to eye, rise and falls, smashing anger, sweetest lullabies.

he is a lion in disguise of a sheep and a lion is never satisfied - after he made you his own sex kitten and impregnated your mind and heart his dick confidence is on a peak - he's the man who devoured you completely, who made you forget about any other men, he got the jackpot without investing a penny - and he's ready to size up his harem - meaning he won't have that much time for you. he'll be juggling you with a new mistress so he'll disappear and you'll see his ass maybe once in two weeks - he needs to keep you hooked - like a crack junkie you'll be starving for your next shot of strokes - blowing away any last bits of common sense, so you stick around again and again - waiting for your personal titel to be upgraded.

he's on ego crack while you are on passion crack, he plays with you, he breaks you - "put it apart put it together again" - that's his game he's hooked on. to make his own dick confidence grow bigger than before he'll suck out the last drop of blood you have left, break your heart, leave you behind - just to come back over and over again when some time has past - proving himself that he can mindfuck you again whenever he feels like, as long as he wants to as hard as he wants to.. knowing you starve for the talks, his kisses nd touch - this is the ultimate dick confidence jerk off.

dick confidence is behold to men with "a bag full of money"  aka with girls standing in line infront of his door - that's why he can afford to play his cards to the fullest - if you jump off, there still will be other girls he can devour.

other guys who don't have dick confidence are simply those who don't have 10 other girls standing in line - that's why they don't play such pathetic games. they play in a totally different league - they might swing that bat here nd there but they never go for that sick homerun as guys with dick confidence do. they'd be better off growin some ball confidence instead of only focusing on their dicks - everyone can fuck around, being a thoughtful and loving partner requires a brave heart and balls.

remind yourself from time to time that all they want from you is the sick taste of your body - they get high on you like lickin on a psychoactive toad - they come back to you so you can stroke their droopy dick confidence once more. you deserve better.... you know it deep down.

lock the door, shut the lights because otherwise you're not able to see the hunting lion laying in the grass in front of your window - he waits for you to lack attention. pump out the last drop of blood, block your veins - anything that prevents you from getting high on his crack fangs again - that type of mental, passion, love crack he pumps into your veins everytime. tie yourself to a chair with one arm free - pull that gun.... before you decide to run out into his claws - pull tighter and

"shoot" him down through the window with total absence... total silence... total happiness in your life

#7 ladies only - the bunnies & yellow boletus' "aha" effect

this will be some kind of "lessons learned" - i want to say thank you to someone who taught me a lot and although i learned it very late, i learned with a big AHAAAA effect. and although you always tell me to not thank you, i truly have to - because this is a big life lesson, your patience with me wasn't for nothing, it really helped.

i was an emotional whore, impatient and too forcing - i got my receipt bashed on the table and i had to pay for it - huge ass bill, guess my credit card is overdrawn. i ordered a gourmet menu i couldn't afford.

i wanted it all and i wanted it already yesterday on my table - what i got was an expensive "lessons learned", which tastes real good with a bitter sidetaste. too much for me to bite off and i got it stuck in my throat - making me suffocate.

i've always seen my bright side of heart because i'm all about giving giving giving - but you can't refill a glass which is already full - overdrippin on the floor and if you don't watch, the glass might drop on the floor - i might catch it just before it hits but then the glass might be empty, with nothing left to drink.

i think i'm the perfect example for an emotional whore, i texted too much, too often, too emotional, too suffocating, threw myself at him like my life would depend on it. always grabbing for the last haulm lemongrass that was there, grab more and more and soon there wasn't anything left to grab. too bad

so listen to that cuz i got told something very important and i understood it way later when i got confronted with it by others, going through the same - just vice versa.

if you walk through the forest, forcing yourself and life to finally see a bunny hopping across your way

- you will never see one, don't force it and when you finally see one after you thought you'd never see one - happiness will be much bigger

if you walk through the forest and all you see are hundreds of bunnies

- it will get on your nerves and they are a reason for you to turn around, 

running in the opposite direction cause it became ordinary and lame

it's like going mushrooming for yellow boletus'

when you finally find one you are so happy, pick it up and take it home

appreciating it because it's rare to find

so a friend of mine from back in the days as kids told me about her new guy and how much he was suffocating her with his attention and pressure for moving forward and there was my first AHA effect - he texts her like 10 times a day, always longer texts, always replying in an instant until she almost went crazy coconuts when her phone beeped for the 100th time - she looked at me and said: gosh that might sound mean but this man isn't a challenge at all, it drives me crazy how attached he is - too much for me, suffocating my interest.

i slightly blushed with wide opened eyes, thinking to myself "fuck jess, you did the exact same thing. of course without any bad purposes - but you suffocated your mc dreamy until he ran the other way"

my ex, this is very interesting, he still wants me back - to my surprise - we are in touch here and there, but last week he dropped the bomb: i want you back and i want you now. i told him that i enjoy time with him, talking and stuff as i'm still very used to him and of course little little feelings are there, i know him for years!  but it's not enough for me to pull back yet - i told him i need time and that i can't decide in an instant - why not enjoy time together and see where it goes again? he keeps forcing and forcing, making pressure how he feels bad without me and how he can't wait any longer for me to decide, wants to know where we stand etc. 

that just followed a few days after i had my convo with my girl and it hit me again - the second big ass AHA effect. I did the exact same fucked up thing with mr sheep - pushing pushing pushing him! "where do we stand, what about monogamy, i want more more and more and i want it now cuz i waited months and still i can't see the light at the end of the tunnel" everytime i forced him more and more, the more he didn't want to be with me.

in my frustration back then i told mr sheep that if i can't see any bunnies or mushrooms i'll simply walk into another forest - basta. although he always tried to show me how far patience and persistence can take you, i got so stucked up in my frustration and sadness that i broke it off the next day. i felt hurt, i felt disappointed, i felt stupid because all i did was give give give for months without receiving anything simular in return - and i wanted it sooooo bad. even when he suggested to have a cup of tea with me soon i turned it down, saying that it never happens - he tried to motivate me, to not give up "hope"for things to happen.

well, he gave me the inspiration and two other people showed me how my own behavior just worked against me back then, pulling off the same behavior. i never meant to harm him. his nerves or to suffocate him with my love - but in the end i did. 

i wish i could turn back time and undo my mistakes with this man but i can't and maybe it's good that i crashed hard - this way i surely never fall back into my old habits. would be nice if mr sheep could see how much i evolved since back then - but he won't... cuz i messed up in so many areas - the only thing i can say in the end - he was the second man in my life, we broke it off three times because of my suffocating behavior and impatience - how could i've known better? it's not that common for a 23yrs old lady to not have a bunch of experience with dating men. he was the second and i stepped on new terrain with zero knowledge and i learned it the hard way. i truly wish that i learned that with someone else because not having him in my life anymore sucks and i let go even though it wasn't easy to be honest with myself that i screwed up with the wrong person.

ladies, if you let a man walk out of your life, let him do so for the right reasons - not because of your immature and stupid mistakes which result out of impatience and suffocation

thank you lemongrass