#19 ladies only - emotionally stripping

pic/quote by thecrazytruth.tumblr.com

people look better with their clothes on, that way you can accentuate your favorite features as a nice decolté, a nice waist or nice legs - however using clothes or accessories as a tool to cover, push or underline is the same as wearing a wall around your heart and mind. are you able to fully undress yourself infront of someone you don't know that long, someone newer in your life or even someone who you know for years? are you able to fully let down your defence and become vulnurable?

defining letting down is relative, i'm talking about exposing yourself 100%, knowing you could get hit on any place, especially your heart. but how are you able to progress, to rise above superficialty if you hide in your safe zone? we find many excuses to play hide and seek - i don't want to stress him, i don't want to bother him, i don't want him to turn away from me. laying bare your inner thoughts, fears, wishes and worries is hard, i know. some of you made more or less hurtful experiences in the past, bitter rejection, foolish illusions which faded into far catched unfulfilled dreams, harsh critism, cruel judgement, getting thrown away and replaced like a broken piece of a machine. that's what holds you back from undressing mentally and emotionally again because you did it once.

yeh some of us experienced such stuff more or less and depending on our emotional state we carry those wounds for a longer time and any hints on going through the same feels like pouring 1kg salt into our wound and rubbing that shit in. fear and insecurity crawls in our mind and takes over if we allow it to. i'm not one of those women myself who walk through life with their nose up high thinking they're the next american top model - i know i have charisma, i know i have something about me, i know i have the right curves - a lot of people see me as a very confident woman but honestly i'm not aware of coming over as that. because my mind is invaded by those nasty insecurites, i'm quick to compare myself to others and i'm quick to pull myself down. but i'm doing better by now because i love myself by now.

oh size 0? sorry, i don't have that i'm a size 38 (european) and i like my feminine grown body that clearly doesn't look like a body of a 14yr old. oh 50kg? sorry i don't have that i'm 63kg. oh you were always skinny? sorry, i was always a little thicker than other kids since elementary school. oh you go to gym 24/7 and do pilates for your apple ass? sorry, i don't do that, i don't have an ass like an apple because you can't grab my ass with one hand only - you need both. oh you wear that wonderbra from VS and your boobs look like grenades? sorry, i don't wear wonderbras because my boobs are bombs, not grenades. i'm a grown woman and i'm 23yrs old and i have no intention to look like a teenager.

but i'll never allow myself again to lose focus on my looks and health, because even feelings have boundaries and before deepest love comes along, those feelings are superficial and looks are deceiving. so remind yourself from time to time to love yourself, to love what god gave you and make healthy food and a balanced workout your priority. maybe you'll find someone who love you for yourself, for your inner beauty - maybe someone who can put down his own superficial blindfold and actually see you and won't try to shape you into what he desires sexually. because true love and therefor purest intimate sexuality comes from the heart. lusty sex can't hold it against sex out of love. but that takes time, takes effort, takes feelings, takes gut to fully undress so you are able to have sex on that high emotional level - because as long as you have one of your clothes on, you know you aren't there yet.