#16 inspired post

pic by http://weheartit.com/entry/3102473

irony strikes again - above you see carrie and mr big - oh irony you are so sweet when you creep up from behind and kick my romantic ass in a nice motion.

thank you irony

thank you mr big - thank you for nothing - thank you for everything

every now and then i reread my older posts, written with flourishing naivete, written with delusional passion, written with surreal longing. mr big, there i was. mr big, there i left. veiled wishes, unspoken insecurities - trying with highest peak of ocean deep passion to reach out. 

oh sweet irony how you lead me on

oh sweet irony how you brought me back down

oh sweet irony how you blessed me with another point of view 

i had the right words and thoughts all the time - dedicated to the wrong man

oh sweet irony

written passion didn't match the star i adored - abusive wishful thinking - leading me onto another milkyway, to another star, a star which was always there but out of my shortsighted eyesight.

let me quote my older posts:

#1 inspired post

" ladies, if you got a man's attention and turned it into respect, appreciation & a true friendship because of your ability to actually speak out with your heart & intellect - be confident about it cuz' he won't let you down for any cheap "sale" sign that passes his way and might turn his head for a second. - but at the end of the day they turned his head for a second - you turned AND captured his head, mind, respect & happiness for a life time. Think about it "

this was my very first inspired post, if i read it carefully and with my eyes & heart wide open, i realize that it didn't match mr big at all.

#9 inspired post

 "if we let people come close to us and open up for them then we give some kind of trust on loan conditions subconsciously. we don't expect much in return, we just wish for giving back trust and show us that our emotional investment wasn't a fail. i'm quite unsure if men are more capable to handle such sharing stuff - but us women are def not capable of doing so.
real men don't share because they are able to see the difference of a "quick snack" & something very valuable and therefor mark their terrain. they won't be satisfied by snacks, be sure they don't want to share you or even lose you to another man either. Be happy and prove him that he doesn't want to lose you because of other sale ads.nevertheless in my opinion exclusiveness shouldn't be taken for granted - and i highly value it, without it there is no way of having me on the tip of your little finger."

i gave away my trust on loan conditions and it wasn't worth it in the first place 

#10 inspired post

"that rollercoaster feeling that makes me feel so alive, more than ever. which made me realize that there is so much more to live for, one moment it goes up and I feel life's easy breeze on my skin, in the next moment it goes doooown and I scream and cry, but after the fall there is a curve in this special amazing rollercoaster which makes me jiggle and laugh and it makes me forget about that hyper fall. if you look into eachothers eyes after a long time and there still remains that instant spark, well then you know what it's about."

naivete cocktail at it's best - lust is the only puppetmaster in this game. stuck in a neverending maze without an exit sign. never again, cuz a man who really wants me will never put me in such a fucked up maze.

i gave away my trust and became vulnerable to my man - the difference is i didn't sign a loan conditions contract because i had security in my wallet, security he gave to me on his own, without asking. as i stated in one of my posts, a king will win with actions not words . oh sweet irony, you gave me the gift of inspiration, seemingly i wasted it on mr wrong but at the same time it opened a door for me.

every girl will meet her mr big sooner or later - he'll play the last nerve out of her, he'll make her curse destiny - but he'll give her the oppertunity of her life: by showing her all the wrongs, she'll notice all the rights in the man who is truly worth it. she'll never settle for less again, she'll never abuse her heart like that again - she'll be truly ready to meet her mr final destination because she'll never let the right man walk out of her life again. 

oh sweet irony

oh sweet irony.....